Keppaku
by CF-fanfiction
Summary: Yami has been distant lately, but when Yugi goes to find out what's wrong he ends up confronting some worrying truths about himself. (not yaoi) (COMPLETE)


Chaos: Ok, so I lied. The next big story is still being refined. But this isn't really a one-shot, it has a beginning and an end. More a short story for people who like some angsting and a soft ending that I am REALLY embarrassed about writing. Anyway, I'd better post this before I chicken out...

Flower: Yu-gi-oh! is copyright to Kazuki Takahashi. Thankyou in advance for any reviews!

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Yugi slowly pushed open the door to Yami's soul room. Something was wrong; it was too quiet. Just as it had been for the last two days. He hadn't before dared to enter - he didn't want to interrupt his Darkness - but he couldn't wait any longer now. "Yami?" he called quietly, the sound splitting the air like a knife. There was no response.

He nervously took a couple of steps forward before he caught sight of Yami, sitting high up on a platform, back to him. He raced up to him, suddenly worried. "Yami, are you ok?" he asked breathlessly, anxiety quickening his voice.

Yami shivered a little at his words, but said nothing. Yugi wanted to see his face, but at the same time dreaded it. "Yami…" he slowly reached forward to touch Yami's shoulder.

The reaction was immediate.

"Leave me!" Yami yelled, suddenly on his feet and whirling round upon Yugi. Yugi took a sudden step back at the fierce look on Yami's face, one that had never been directed at him before.

"Why are-" he began.

"Why will you not just leave me alone sometimes?!" If Yugi hadn't known better, he would have taken Yami's red-rimmed eyes and ragged breathing to mean that he had been crying. But Yami never showed that kind of weakness…right?

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Well, sometimes sorry is not enough!" Yami's voice had a bitter layer that Yugi couldn't understand as he took another step back, bewildered. "Just go, leave me in peace for once!"

When Yugi didn't move, Yami's anger grew.

"You can be such a pest sometimes! Go away!" His words cut deep and Yugi fled, slamming the door behind him, his own eyes stinging. How could Yami say that to him?!

Silence descended. Yami turned and sat again, fingers tracing the newest pattern of hieroglyphics he had found, tears reappearing in his eyes. He couldn't even understand the little pictures - his own language! He didn't understand a word of Egyptian. He had somehow been able to speak Japanese from the beginning, perhaps because of the link with Yugi, but his own language was a mystery to him.

He thought briefly about Yugi. He would regret those harsh words later, but for now all he could think about was how he was stuck so far from the home he missed so much now that duelling couldn't distract him, someone had robbed him of all the memories he deserved, and he didn't even have a body of his own. Ra, he didn't even have his own appearance, thanks to the magic that changed his features to help him fit in with the people of the time - he had adopted several of Yugi's features instead. Eye colour, skin colour. He didn't have anything from his past, apart from the Puzzle.

He only had his _hikari_, his lighter incarnation, who couldn't understand because he was so different and yet so similar.

It took him a long time to realise he didn't want to lose Yugi as well.

Yugi scribbled out the answer for the thousandth time, grip on the pencil tightening so much he was sure it would crack. He was normally good at maths, but his concentration had left him.

He felt an uncomfortable stinging in his eyes and rubbed the back of his hand across them furiously. He couldn't cry...this work was due in tomorrow.

The small clock on his desk read 11.45. He was glad his Grampa was not awake to see him there, or there would be trouble. 'Why hadn't he done it sooner? Why was he finding it so difficult? Why did he look so distracted?'

He sighed and threw down the pencil, leaving the last quetion unanswered. That'd have to do. He dropped backwards onto his bed to think properly.

Didn't Yami want him around anymore? Well, he had known him for the last eleven months...had he been tiresome to Yami, just a body to duel from, and live from? Now that the duelling was over for the winter...well, outdoor duelling at least, and most tournaments...Yami had retreated to his soul room and took less and less interest in the life around him.

Maybe he, Yugi, was at fault. Yami could have been feeling homesick, or jealous, and he hadn't noticed - hadn't shown any sympathy. Probably only made it worse by ignoring him most of the time.

He shut his eyes over the tears and rolled onto his front, trying hard not to cry, not to show any more selfishness than he had already done. He swallowed hard and shut his eyes, trying to blot it out.

He was still wide awake half an hour later, and still he hadn't properly cried - only a few tears had escaped, falling onto his pillow and sinking away through the fabric. Of that he felt glad, at least, though there felt like there was a hole where his heart was, and it was getting steadily bigger. Then Yami spoke, and Yugi thought he could possibly detect slight fear in his voice.

__

Yugi, I...I am sorry. I have not been myself lately.

It's ok. I shouldn't have disturbed you,he replied bluntly, too full of the accusing thoughts to concentrate properly. Yami said nothing for a while, and Yugi turned back to the reel of thoughts showing what he had done wrong, and how it was all _his_ fault.

He found himself sniffling, and took a deep breath. If Yami wanted to move on, fine. He shouldn't be holding him back. If it wasn't for the Puzzle, then Yami would probably have left ages ago, right? So...he should give him more freedom. Stop acting like a clinging little kid. Was he just a bother to everyone else too?

He shuddered and suddenly felt very cold. Two more tears slipped past his closed eyelids.

__

Yugi...don't cry.

Yami never used 'don't' or 'can't' or anything like that. Why would he now? Was it because he was getting impatient? Yugi didn't bother to test the bond, already anticipating what he might find there. More tears were on the verge of spilling and he kept his eyes shut, hiding his face in the pillow.

Stop acting like a little kid...

__

Please don't cry,Yami begged from his soul room, suddenly scared and guilty. Had he upset Yugi that much?! He dashed to the door, and across to Yugi's soul room door. It was shut.

It had never been shut before.

__

Yugi, are you ok? Talk to me! he wailed over the link, looking up and down the door as though it would disappear.

__

I'm...fine. I'm fine on my own. Yugi replied eventually, trying to make himself believe it. He didn't need to depend on Yami. He didn't need to be a burden. He didn't need to drag everybody back.

Was everybody secretly laughing at him, silly trusting little Yugi, stuck in a bright world of childish fantasies and dreams?

He rolled onto his side, feeling more and more tears break free. Sobs began constricting his throat as the same thoughts reeled around again and again, and he had no more strength to fight them.

Then Yami's breath tickled the back of his neck, Yami's warm arms encircled him, offering comfort and safety. "Yugi, I truly am sorry." Yami said quietly behind his ear.

Yugi didn't have the breath to respond, and wasn't sure what to say anyway. He sobbed and shivered, but didn't pull away. "I did not mean it; I lost my temper," Yami continued, "Can you forgive me?"

__

Yes. Wait, no...I mean...it's not that. Yugi said over the link, not trusting his voice to remain steady.

"But it is something I said?" Yami asked gently. Yugi said nothing, but bowed his head and half-shut his eyes. Yami ran back briefly over the argument. What could it be, that Yugi had already been doubting hmself over?

__

"Why will you not just leave me alone sometimes?!"

No...or, maybe. Though he had already been alone for the days before.

__

"Well, sometimes sorry is not enough!"

No. Definitely not.

__

"Just go, leave me in peace for once!"

Perhaps. But Yugi had kept his distance in the days beforehand, so that phrase might as well have been a lie.

__

"You can be such a pest sometimes! Go away!"

Ah.

Yami silently cursed himself for the words. Yugi and he had depended on each other so much during the tournament season - of course, Yugi had expected him to be the same. And he would have been, if he hadn't been so self-centred as to miss what he couldn't remember.

And perhaps it ran deeper. Yugi was so different from his friends - was he thinking of himself as a pest, now? He did know that Joey had bullied Yugi before the Puzzle was complete - did Yugi believe that it was only because of him, Yami, that he had friends at all?

Yami had unknowingly hit upon the exact same thoughts that Yugi had had earlier. He had also left the link open without realising.

Yugi gave up on fighting the tears. Hearing it from someone else only made it seem worse. Didn't it prove that everybody else was thinking the same? Tears flew freely from his eyes now, and it was all the answer Yami needed.

He hugged Yugi closer and whispered, "Yugi, people love you for who you are. Your friends did not even know of my presence at the start - they spent much more time with you; Tea was your friend from the beginning. Does that not tell you anything? Believe me, I would never mean anything that I would say to hurt you; you are a wonderful, friendly person...please, never change. I would miss you too much."

Yugi gave in to Yami's embrace, listening to his words and knowing that they were true. "I'm sorry," he said honestly through his tears, "I'm being stupid."

Yami laughed quietly in his ear. "That is exactly what I am talking about," he murmured, "Apologising even when I am, quite obviously, in the wrong. Promise me you will never lie to yourself again."

Yugi smiled and shut his eyes, letting his tears dry on his cheeks.

"I promise."


End file.
